Premise: Whose attention is it for?

" Attention is giving a place in your heart to someone other than yourself.
It's about sharing your time and your life a little.
"Song Jeong-rim

Situation: If you were born in the Joseon Dynasty, you would have been a talented person with both civil and military skills.

I can definitely hear their thoughts and questions directed at me. But I don't look forward to the conversation that follows. It's just an empty expression that I experience out of the blue. Those who often want to be at the center of conversation in gatherings they occasionally participate in often reveal this "fast" attention to get people to pay attention to them. For those who ask questions believing that they are interested in getting attention, the relationship they can expect is likely to be nothing but loneliness. That's why I'm wary of those who make these expressions regardless of the context of the conversation.

"But why don't you tell me about yourself?"

Phenomenon: Attention is confirmed by the attitude of watching.

Interest comes from a "slow" gaze and expectation. And its goal is to reach an attempt to "understand." Furthermore, the intention to understand is based on respect for the other person. The question to oneself, "Can I understand a little more?", makes this possible.

The hard-won leisure of confirming from the other person's point of view

The first place I visited for investigative reporting was the house where the insider lived. The meeting was confirmed and I drove for hours to get there in time, but when I got there, I couldn't get in touch with him. I was sure he lived nearby, but the fact that he wasn't at the appointed place meant that he was likely to change his mind.

The senior reporter who went with me was angry at the bewilderment. And he went from alleyway to alleyway calling out the name of the person we were supposed to meet. The shouting continued for about 10 minutes. In the end, the senior reporter seemed to have given up, saying, "Let's go," and turned towards the car. And I waited for 5 minutes and suggested that we call one more time and if we didn't get an answer, we'd leave. The senior reporter, calming down and regaining his composure, stood in front of the supermarket and waited calmly. Five minutes later, the man answered the phone.

In fact, the person who agreed to the interview was probably the most anxious. He was probably afraid that even if he hid his face or voice, his identity would be revealed in the context of the relationship. The interview was only for a short time, but no one knew how long the subsequent changes would affect the man's life, and no one was responsible. The man knew that, and the reporters weren't interested. How much of a blow to the conscience was the 10-minute commotion the senior reporter caused? Most people would have expected this before agreeing, and it's likely they would have been hardened by the time they actually faced it. Therefore, silence could be simply a refusal, but it could also be a momentary hesitation.

The senior reporter, who knew the schedule and context of the entire interview, would have been most concerned about whether or not the interview was successful. As a newbie, I was just more touched by the man's bewilderment at the time.

So it seemed appropriate to suggest 5 minutes to calmly check why he agreed to the interview in the first place.

Thought: Do you wonder what they're like in their everyday lives?

Maybe because of the field research methodology, which tries to observe the most natural aspects of everyday life, I often find myself asking myself what the intention behind someone's "fast" interest in me is. I'm often asked if I don't trust people well, but thanks to this, I've become a bit more straightforward in my relationships than I was before, and I've been able to prevent unnecessary energy consumption in relationships more effectively.

For that reason, attention is energy and vitality to me. A slow gaze, and judgments and evaluations are put off until last. This simple, but clear, practical standard is like one of the few growth milestones I've acquired in my life.

The way to get close to a stray cat or a big dog is to stay nearby.

It's all about staying a little longer or approaching when you make eye contact and confirm that you are comfortable. Showing interest by looking at someone with interest. Experience the effect of this subtle initiative for yourself.