Conversations with whistleblowers I met in public places, conversations with patients attempting to go undercover, and conversations with the owners of guesthouses near oil spill-affected beaches have always made one thing clear.

The fact that people always engage in conversations with their own unique breath and rhythm.

Silence is meaningful in itself, and even the gaze that stares at me intently before answering a question has a message. And it wasn't easy to imagine the situation and context of the relationship hidden behind this unfamiliar rhythm of conversation.

For this reason, when I meet people through interviews, my ultimate goal in the given, limited time has become "to create a relationship where I can have the most honest conversation."

It's true that the most prominent and attractive point professionally is to confirm a "specific message." However, asking follow-up questions related to a specific message or product is ultimately the biggest mistake that blurs the opportunity to hear honest answers in a natural state.

After all, humans are used to lying. The person in front of us is not someone we can control. So, the best conversational skill is to treat the other person's breath as part of the conversation and listen intently until they are ready for our response (with the intention of creating dimples, even if there are none, and trying to change our expression).

Sometimes, insights come pouring out.

We can only pick them up.

And one more really interesting point. This post doesn't even discuss the other person's reaction to seeing the attitude of listening, i.e., the other person's experience that makes up the dynamics of the conversation. Imagine this.

From "serious questions that overwhelm existence" that are only trapped in the other person's mind to questions that awaken "little moments of everyday life" that they themselves don't particularly care about, what if someone outside asks them with a listening attitude? What about that sudden intimate time we create together?

Why don't you check it out in your conversation with the people you meet today?

• Lack of listening accounts for 40% of communication failures.
  Harvard Business Review. (2016). Why Aren't You Listening?

• Leaders who are good listeners have 26% higher team performance.
  Gartner. (2019). Successful Leaders Demonstrate These 5 Behaviors.

• Employees who are good at listening in conversations with customers have 40% higher customer satisfaction.
  McKinsey. (2020). The business value of customer experience.

• A leader's listening ability improves subordinate engagement by 35%. (Gallup, 2017)
  Gallup. (2017). The Right Culture: Not Just About Employee Satisfaction.